When was the last time you saw this movie? Did you ever see it? Watched it from NetFlix tonight. Long time since 1990, when it came out, and Wyn and I first watched this tale of teen entry into political consciousness. Drama’s as dramatic as ever. Technology changes hardly matter. It’s the message the implodes within the heart; I was torn in two. Between the exhilarating hope of revolutionary change born in the 1960s to the dark violence of post-911 global terrorism, I found myself wondering, What currently compels us, as a species? Is the zeitgeist now at work of God or demon? Knowing that the alchemist believes they are one and the same.
Learned “by heart” during time alone in my cabin at GilChrist, Three Rivers, Michigan, with the half-formed idea of keeping this with me as a talisman of the “higher emotional center” (Gurdjieff) or “Chesed (Merciful God)-consciousness” (Kabbalah). Rilke’s poem somehow captures the nature of the work required (at least of me) by this intense and challenging venture into “the Listening Heart” :
“I am too alone in the world, yet not alone enough to keep every hour holy. / I am too small in the world, yet not small enough to be simply in your presence, like a thing — just as it is.
I want to know my own will, and to move with it. / I want, in the hushed hours when the nameless draws near, to be among the Wise Ones—or alone.
I want to mirror your immensity. / I want never to be too weak or too old/to bear the heavy, wavering Image of you.
I want to unfurl. / Let no place inside me hold itself closed / for where I am closed, I am false / and I want to be clear in your sight…” – Rainer Maria Rilke